Under My Own Fig Tree

Reflection #4: Buddhist Meditation

During the 20 minutes I spent in my apartment complex's park seated on a rock by the stream surrounded by trees, grass, and the sun beating down on my face was definitely relaxing. During the first five minutes of my meditation period, I was easily guided to letting go of all the troubles, I reminded myself that this was a time where I could seek life's truths without all of my obstacles interfering. However, those 5 short minutes were over once all my other emotions starting pouring in. Those hurdles kept me from seeking life's truths. Soon enough, the whole meditation process swept away from my mind letting my own life's thoughts and feelings take over. Those were the thoughts that I had trouble controlling in my mind - letting them roam around my head freely. It takes so much effort to completely let go and keep my right effort in mind. Without effort, which is in itself an act of will, nothing can be achieved. I experienced that when I was not able to let go of my negative thoughts. It completely distracted my mind from the task. The right effort is preceded by right mindfulness and right concentration. Those three aspects had to be on my mind but I struggled to do so. My inspiration that I did receive was to completely let go and believe that I could concentrate in the right way the eightfold path directs us to. It isn't as easy as yes or no; it comes from the utmost self to have the ultimate effort to be in the right state of mind - seek life's truth. No more, no less.